www.nathanweselake.com

Larry is retiring.

After 23 years as school teacher at a juvenile correctional facility, my dad is retiring Dec 24.  Today there was a lunch for him and others which I attended with Soren.

It is funny.  You think you know your dad and then some guy you have never heard of stands up and gives a 15 minute speech about what dad has meant to him, the institution, and the hundreds of students he has had over the years.  

A few things stood out for me.  

First, "in all the years I have worked with Larry I have never heard anyone say a disparaging remark about him, I have also never heard him make a disparaging remark about anyone else."  Wow, what a personal challenge to walk in dad's steps on this one.  What a wonderful thing to be said of a person.

Second, "Larry would say something and you wouldn't know if he was joking, then you'd see a little smile and know and you'd have permission to crack up." He quoted a bunch of things my dad said that people remembered which had them laughing.  This was my favorite and I can just hear him say it in the meeting he was in when he said it: 

 "This is serious stuff, this IS GOVERNMENT."

Finally, "Larry is a spiritual man and takes care of his spiritual side.  He also takes care of himself physically."  An incredibly quick gloss over what is actually at the center of dad's life.  But everything else good that was said, everything else that defies explanation is rooted in the strength of the phrase, "Larry is a spiritual man."  

The physical part of it woke me up to the notion that maybe one of the reasons it has become normal for me to exercise and pay attention to fitness is because of watching dad for years and years.  He is not an athlete and so I never really noticed how dedicated, disciplined, and fit he is. My guess is that since I was a little boy he has averaged 5 hours+  week lifting and swimming.  Because dad works out, I assumed it was "normal" and am way better off for it.

After this pretty heartfelt tribute, dad said a few words to everyone.  Told them pretty boldly that 23 years ago when he was unemployed he was praying for a job.  Came to the facility to visit the son of a family friend who was incarcerated.  Saw the school and felt a strong impression he was going to teach there for a long time.  It pointed to God without being preachy,  the words only reinforcing quietly what the life shouts.

And I was proud as any son could be.

The fragile psyche of Nathan Weselake regarding his manliness as exposed by the annual ordeal of putting plastic on his #$%ing old windows.

There is nothing which makes me feel less like I imagine a man ought to feel than putting plastic on old windows.

_{^{- I have notions that someone else who has been through this process 8 times before (1908 house, 1959 house, and 1916 house) would have become more efficient at it.  Less blinds crashing down on heads, less fingers being burnt by the heat gun, less innocent questions from their children regarding why there is so much blood, chaos and tools necessary to put plastic on windows.}}  

_{^{- I have notions that somewhere there is a man who is successful enough career wise that he can actually afford to purchase new windows instead of multiple packs of window plastic from Wal-Mart at 11.95 a pop.}}  

_{^{- I have notions that some men have enough 'devil may care' machismo to not even flinch at the extra costs involved in heating a house without plasticing their windows.}}

I however am not such a man.  

And I have three more windows to go.

And I'd like to get them done before the Saturday night service.  

This only gives me 6 hours.

Helping Kids Make Smart Media Choices #2

When I think of my own life as a teen and what put the guardrails up to guide me in moral and relationship choices; it was not specific instruction regarding what to do in certain situations which was helpful  It was something else entirely.

Guideline #2: Instill in them early the idea that God has special plans for their life.

From the time I was a little boy both my parents, but my dad especially, kept telling me God had special plans for me.  I do this for Soren and Acacia nearly every night when I tuck them in.  It reinforces their identity as special and chosen and hopefully fortifies them against peer pressure and temptation later on.

If we do this well and early on and we can give our kids a guiding identity.  Wise choices flow out of who they are and who God has made them to be instead of mom and/or dad's rules.  Easier to say "no" when you feel deep down that to say "yes" would be to jeopardize something God is planning to do in your life.  

In my 3 years as a youth pastor, and then my years since in working alongside those who work with youth, I have found this guideline is true.  Of course not all the time, there are other factors.  But I have found where there is a kid who has the ability to say no to negative peer pressure there is often present the seed of a deep sense of CALL planted by a parent early on and then continuously watered over the years.

Helping Kids Make Smart Media Choices.

One of the more interesting conversations I have with people is regarding what media they will allow their children to watch, read, or surf.

In the next few days I'll share some of the best guideline I have come across as I have listened, read, and reflected on this topic which is close to the heart of parents.

Guideline #1: Teach how to see the STORY not the SCENE.

The story is what comes in through the back door when you have the front door barricaded and secure.  Doesn't mean the story is bad - just means it is the real message being communicated and you cannot disarm it. 

The scene is two ridiculously strong men wrestling violently in a ring.

The story is about the acceptence of perpetual adolesence and a 'win at all costs' mentality.

The scene is three cartoon children finding their way home.

The story is about how ridiculous and bumbling adult authority figures are.

The scene is an athlete jumping into the arms of fans after a touchdown.

The story is some people are worth a whole lot more than others.

The scene is about women not being able to teach in public.

The story is about the liberation of all people to be who God made them to be.

Maturity is the ability to focus on the story not the scene.

Practically, this means parents need to begin having conversations about "what the whole thing" is about (story) instead of focusing on different parts of the whole (scene). 

Question:  What "story" do Christian radio stations tell?  The "scenes" are inoffensive but what "story" comes in through the back door.?

"What is that song you always hum daddy?"

Soren and I have been playing lots together with his trucks, cars, and lego.

Whenever the action heats up I start to reflexively hum a little tune.  Earlier today he asks why.  I actually didn't realize I did it.

Here is the song:

I loved this show when I was about 8 years old.  But it took some begging to have my mom and dad allow me to watch it, at that stage of life they were pretty conservative and some of the child rearing advice they had received seems a little strong a few years down the road.  

I remember sitting and watching the first little bit with my mom one time and the two of us counting the things Jesus wouldn't like!  We got up to like 30 in the first few minutes and I thought I was doomed!  

But then something happened which I think was so wise.  She got into the story, and it was a good story.  Good guys win, justice is done, and everyone gets to bring their unique gift to the project.  

To this day I dislike the filtering approach where you go to a website and it tells you there are 4 expletives, partial nudity, and strong violence so don't rent the movie.  What about the story?  

Ah..running out of time but I think I'll pick this up again in a later post.

Does the story redeem the content?

Blizzard Night.

It was 9:30pm in the Weselake household.  I was tired and already in bed, reading "The Lost Symbol" to unwind.  Acacia and Soren couldn't sleep so crawled into the bed.  Tamara had crawled into the bed as well.  All four of us lined up under the covers.

The kids were chatting about a blizzard last year when they all piled into bed like this because they were scared.  It made me remember something I have wanted to do since I first read the idea here, probably a year ago.  So I say:

"Well, instead of talking about a blizzards, we should go and buy some blizzards."

Soren: Points finger in the air for emphasis (like his mother) and says, "yes we should" matter of factly as if we often get out of bed for junk food runs.

Acacia: Giggling and says "DAAAAAAD!"

Nathan: Out of bed getting dressed.

Tamara: "Are you serious?"

Like a heart attack.  One large Smarty Blizzard later we return home.

A lot of happiness for $5.19.

Lord of the Rings.

Started reading this to Acacia and Soren in January. 

We don't so much read as discuss what they would do in each situation.

Like today, we read about Gandalf fighting the Balrog.  

Acacia said if she had to fight a Balrog she would tell it that she is not even scared to look right into a closet when it is dark.  This would intimidate the Balrog and give her the psychological edge.

Soren would dig a well and the water would engulf the Balrog.

Unpacking these solid strategies means it takes us 15 minutes to read a paragraph sometimes - good for my tunnel vision to meander a bit.

Saturday Mumblings.

- one of my faithful readers, Nettie Neudorf, is also a local road cyclist with the Junkyard Dogs, was 2nd at the Cd. Nationals in the ITT and 4th in the 57km Road race.  This is incredible.  I think this is her 3rd year cycling.  Fourth tops.  

- ate at Dubrovnik's last night for our anniversary.  One of the nicer establishments I have had the pleasure of masticating in.  What sets this apart from a few other places is not only the quality and presentation of the cuisine, but also the decent portions.  The owner told us to "tell our friends".  Friends I am telling you.  Plan on $75-$150 a person and tell 'em "Nath" sent you.

- sported my white shoes and new matching white belt during yesterday's festivities.  Tamara said I looked like I should be running around in circles saying "where is de plane?" over and over.  I didn't get her "Fantasy Island" reference because I am too young.

- enjoyed Costco today immensely.  I almost bought a lifetime supply of shaving cream for $9.  But then I decided not to.  But I did buy some Doritos which I will enjoy soon.

- beginning a new sermon series on Sunday called "THE PATH OF BLESSING"

I am particularly excited about using an electric foot bath during the first sermon as a prop.

- PAC is getting a new website for fall.  

- heading here in a few weeks to be a guest speaker.  The few times I have gotten to do this sort of thing I have immensely enjoyed it (even more than Costco, which, as indicated above, I do also immensely enjoy).  5 chapel times and a couple morning Bible studies.  Going to be tweaking some of the talks I used at PAC for the "GET A LIFE" series and some studies from the "21 Day Prayer Challenge".

9 years ago today...

I promised to love, cherish, protect, honor, and everything else I could possibly throw into my original self written wedding vows.  They were the kind of thing only an absolutely star struck head over heels young fellow could say with a straight face.  

Most of my vows were about what I would give.  But 9 years later most of what I could say would have to do with what I have received.  

9 years of benefitting from her challenges.

9 years of having my day brightened because of her laughter.

9 years of telling stories about my day.

9 years of getting to live in an environment made beautiful because of her care for our home and yard.

9 years of being stretched to try things I would never try on my own.

9 years of being humbled by my inability to keep up.

9 years of sharing secrets about people and things.

I'd like to thing I have managed to give something back in those 9 years but it is sure easier to see what I have received.

So much of my life is like that.  This sense that what I am getting is so much greater than what I am putting out.  

My hope is that it is not because I am a leech, but rather because I am stumbling towards the Jesus reality where we are told that if someone gives up their life for Jesus sake he gives them one better than they would imagine. 

It seems as if what Jesus has done in my case is tune my internal registry so it is more capable of recording the joy in life and less aware of the ineffable disappointments we feel but can't articulate.

Now I am wandering away from anniversary celebration but God uses community to disciple us and in my case, He has used no one more than Tamara.  I wouldn't want to imagine or live a different life than the one I get to have beside her.

(If she actually ever read this she'd be most flattered and embarrassed)

 

Piano Recital vs. Morden Race

Acacia has a piano recital Sunday afternoon. 

I have a bike race Sunday afternoon.

Honestly not too sure what the best thing to do was.  I am a pretty present dad at swimming lessons, dance recitals, and Kids of Mud.  It is just 3 minutes of her playing a song she has played 500x before.  I start preaching again soon and will not be able to hit another race.

Could make a case either way.

Go to race in the name of balance and self care and return a better more engaged dad because of the down time and exertion.

Go to recital and hope it means something to Acacia. 

I decided to go to the recital.

What is your vote? 

(anyone who has an argument for why the race is the run away winner is most welcome to offer one!)