We drive a Venti truck.
“Nathan what is the name of that phoofy le foof coffee place you like?”
“Starbucks.”
And so began the most humorous series of events I have been a part of in a long time. We all had a self effacing laugh at it in the truck so rest assured I am not out of line poking fun at my two pals.
We finished the Muddy Waters Ride and had some food, decided to grab a coffee on the way out of town.
The three of us head into Starbucks (that hard to remember obscure coffee shop I am a fan of). The queries start early from my pals.
“What is good here?”
“How do you say that?”
We get it all sorted out by the time we get to the front of the line and we also by that time have the attention of everyone (although they probably noticed us when the monster truck pulled up) because there is not a moment of silence with these two and D. especially can tend to be a little loud. C. is saying “Macchiato” under his breath over and over so when he orders he wont mess it up. D. has decided on a “Mocha” but clearly didn’t practice enough because when he ordered he says it with a volume and tone appropriate if you were correcting a child who said it wrong.
“I’ll have a cafe MOCHA….”
The nod of the girl is encouraging enough to take the next step on his own.
“Do you have large?”
Having been assured they do - D. pays up and moves and it is C. turn.
His practice has him saying Macchiato like he was born in Vienna . Unfortunately, his focus on the new word makes “iced” come out like “oofed”, so there was some confusion before it all got strung together coherently.
And then it is time to specify size. Ahh size, the classic trip up at Starbucks is the sizing. Tall, Grande, and Venti are the Small, Medium, and Large equivalents and this variance in terminology makes people not just confused, but angry and awkward.
C. is no exception - “Give me a large or venti or whatever the hell size you call it.”
We then wait for our drinks to be announced.
“Venti Cafe Mocha!” - this one belongs to D
“What did you call it?”- D. is thrown off by the “Venti” because he ordered a large.
Thankfully by now C. can come to his aid with a “that is what they call a large in this place” and then the best part of the whole exchange. C. gives an explanation to the baristas and the entire room for the scene.
“We” - he says with a sweeping look around the room - “are from Portage.”
And so we got back into our Venti truck with our phoofy le foof drinks and headed her home.
